OUR STORY

We met in a World Religions class at the Moravian Theological Seminary in Bethlehem, PA (or a like institution). Molly was 23 and just starting work on a Master of Divinity degree. Desmond was 25 and in his second year of study for a Masters in Pastoral Counseling. He also dealt Blackjack at the Sands Casino three nights a week to help pay the bills. By happenstance as much as by choice, we were both still virgins. Not just virgins, but essentially novices in the preliminaries too. Rather than admit we were different than most of our peers, we had each convinced ourselves that chastity was part of the righteous path. Little did we know!

Now, let's be clear about something. Chastity as a personal choice is to be respected. Just as are monogamy and promiscuity. Chastity remains the most effective form of birth control, and it should be encouraged among those who are too young to make reasoned decisions or understand intimacy. But no one should deny themselves sexual pleasure or intimacy under the belief that such things are sinful, or that forebearance is a sacrifice that God expects from the faithful.

That said, the attraction between us was immediate, even though we got into an argument over the differences between the God of Christianity and the God of Islam (Allah). After class, we agreed to meet that evening for coffee and to continue our discussion. Instead, we spent several hours talking and laughing as though we had known each other for years. The evening ended in a chaste goodnight kiss, which was reckless behavior given the seminary's strict moral code.

For the next two months, we continued to have study dates and attended community dinners and social events together. Then came November 7, which we will always remember as the Day of Grace. We had discussed in class that day whether the authors of the New Testament had borrowed the concept of wine symbolism at the Last Supper from the Dionysian religion. Thus, we decided that a bottle of wine sounded better than coffee. We shared it and a veggie pizza at Molly's apartment.

A simple kiss was followed by longer, more passionate ones. A bit akwardly at first, we began to undress each other and touch places we had only imagined or dreamed of. We surely would've stopped, if one of us had suggested it. But neither of us wanted to stop. When we reached the point of no return, it proved to be a mere speed bump and a soft cry. Afterwards, we held each other and spoke of things we had been afraid to discuss before - love, sex and us. Then we did it again.

After that first night we began using birth control, but it was too late. We discovered that Molly was pregnant over winter break, and she withdrew from school. Her parents were not pleased. Undeterred, we married in a simple ceremony at a nondenominational church the Saturday before Easter, as the chapel at the seminary was not available to us. Our bliss lasted until the day in late April when our obstetrician explained the test results showing Trisomy 18 - a genetic disorder that usually results in infant mortality within hours to one month after birth.

Next: Our Story continues